A Special New Band
There are many long-held misogynystic rhetorics in sports and music and movies (and everything) but the one I'm specifically talking about here goes like this: Oh you like Dark Side Of The Moon? Name 5 songs off it. If you present as a woman I am certain you have been asked a version of this question at some point. This sort of thinking is usually brushed aside quickly, as that is a dumb thing to say. Someone's enjoyment of art is personal, we all know this, and it doesn't take a cinematographer to look at Do The Right Thing and feel it's visual power.
ESPN analyst Benjamin Solak recently took to Twitter with this idiotic thought-pattern in defense of Chicago Bears' quarterback Caleb Williams. The post read, "New Rule: you aren't allowed to comment on Caleb Williams' play on Sunday unless you can name the six guys who played offensive line for him off the top of your head." This is not something he directed at any woman and its logical premise so obviously flawed that you might be curious why I even bring it up. If, for example, you forgot the last name of the Bears' left guard, Solak doesn't care for your thoughts on the play of their quarterback. This clearly makes no sense. I can confidently walk onto any pickup basketball court and tell you who the good and bad players are within fifteen minutes. Solak's idea presupposes that every Good Player is already known and that scouts or fans couldn't possibly see someone they're unfamiliar with and evaluate that player's game. Again, patently stupid stuff. And again, this is the kind of illogical bird-brained thinking which spawns misogynistic micro-aggressions that ultimately serve to make one person look superior while being exclusive about America's most popular forms of media.
Should everyone's language be so concerned with not offending others all the time? No. When trying to enlighten others and broaden your tent is it best practice to speak to people where they're coming from? Of course. This plays out most often in burgeoning romantic situations. It's rare that you lead with, "I have depression and unresolved issues with my mother and I fucking hate the New York Yankees." Most people's language when they're trying to get laid is much more sanguine, more sensitive. People understand that when you want something from somebody else, be it commentary or thoughtfulness or an evening of debauchery, there is always a level of compromise needed to make it work. We can go to that place for dinner and then this cocktail bar I like for a drink. I don't love Klay Thompson on this Mavericks team but I don't know who else they could have gotten.
The election day postmortem for the left has seen everyone under their smaller-than-expected tent pointing fingers. There is one faction of people still obsessed with Covid and I can't blame them. The virus was traumatic in some way for nearly everyone and I cannot fault people for taking some years to work through that. These people feel excluded and left behind, often struggling with Long Covid and rendered disabled. They are, of course, invited under the tent, but often don't join the party. People have given up masking and they are scared. People don't know about the newest strain, or the next flu, or the exact numbers on how many are still suffering, so they yell and yell that the left isn't being inclusive to their needs. Do they have a point that there are still risks and dangers in the world? Absolutely. Is there an argument to be made that the left needs to meet them closer to where they're at? Sure. Is there also a point at which you need to stop vilifying people that agree with 95% of what you believe? Fucking obviously.
Disability has become the new identity for so many and as someone living with epilepsy I can see how this could be attractive. It's easy to fall into the sort of thinking discussed herein earlier. You don't know what I know. You can't name the newest flu strain. I am the one who knows and needs to be accounted for.
This sort of attention seeking isn't much aside from a way of othering oneself under the guise of safety. There are so many ways to contribute, be it emotionally, financially or just spreading awareness. When participating in a political movement or enjoying some music or watching a game you yourself should be acting in good faith, otherwise you make everything worse for everyone, including yourself. If the woman next to you phrases some sort of sports colloquialism unconventionally, who gives a fuck? If the guy at the concert doesn't know the gang-vocal singalong, who gives a fuck? Everyone needs time to learn everything they ever know before they know it. People will always speak their truth, but the moment it dismisses yours you don't have to keep listening. You lived through it too, you saw it, and you're doing the best you can.
-Michael Campana