Crash Into Me
I pulled a bunch of my investments when Trump got elected. This isn't to say I told you so, or look at how smart I am. The president said he was going to do something very stupid and I simply believed him.
I Am Good, I Am Grounded
I've been to Ohio at least a dozen times and I'll go there many more. From Cleveland to Cincinnati to Columbus I've enjoyed it through. I think about drinking beer at O'Malley's In The Alley after watching the Reds at Great American Ballpark and playing chess with the bartender.
You Will Always Be A Loser
I've played 13,767 games of online chess since July 12th, 2020. In rapid time controls (15 minutes or less) I'm better than 73% of all the players on lichess.org. It's important to note that I am not very good at chess.
No Substitutions
I love food. I love that every culture expresses itself through food and I love eating what comes from people who have thought about food more than I have
Masterpiece
There is so much that I'm aware of that I wish I wasn't. This feeling is not unique to me at all, and I'm certain that everyone is subconsciously wise to this understanding within themselves. Be it Ben Shapiro, the film Cats, Twenty One Pilots, I wish I didn't know about any of it.
My Favorite Fighter is Lomachenko
by Robert Williams-Taylor
My favorite of the last decade is Lomachenko. Depending on the boxing circle(s) that one is in,
this may seem blasphemous on its face.
Future Or No Future
"I can admit when I'm wrong but"
You say this to yourself and you lie. You can't. You've done it a few times but you don't actually believe it. You convince yourself that time will in fact prove you right and that's why you always end with "but."
But, herein lies the rub. You're just wrong.
A Special New Band
There are many long-held misogynystic rhetorics in sports and music and movies (and everything) but the one I'm specifically talking about here goes like this: Oh you like Dark Side Of The Moon? Name 5 songs off it
Here Comes Midnight
It's happened again, but this time with little fanfare, minimal gloating, and almost nothing to be said from the victors.
I Coulda Been A Contender
Yanks down 3-0. Just gotta win tonight, Cole on the mound tomorrow, Rodon after that, anything can happen in a game 7.
Show Me All The Rules, I Just Want To Belong
The Minnesota Vikings lost a football game on Thursday night that they probably would have lost under any circumstance, but
RIP The Fun, Sassy, Grimace Mets
by Michael Mulraney
The Spreadsheet Mafia‘s move from the boardroom to the diamond has stolen a lot from baseball. The math of the true three outcomes: homer, strike out, and walk reign over a mathematically driven formula that’s stolen from the soul of baseball the way it’s stolen the creative soul of America.
There’s Nothing Else Out There For You
Kawhi Leonard was born 9 days before me in Los Angeles, California. He is entering his 14th season in the NBA and he probably won't see the floor as he is out indefinitely with a knee injury. Injuries are nothing new to any player, especially Kawhi. Out of a possible 1,066 regular season games he could have played in his career, he's participated in 696 of them. That's just above 65%, barely passing in high school.
Sleepless Long Nights
To Provo, Utah I read in an email. A long way away from my home sweet Albany, New York. I don't want to get too deep into this, I probably write too much about the airport as it is. 3 out of 3 flights delayed, 14 hours of travel, at the end of my emotional rope when the pilot announces, "If you look out of the right side of the plane you can see the Northern Lights."
This Isn’t A Dream
Early in the summer at my friends Dan and Shannon's apartment, a group of us were drinking and partying on their stoop. This wasn't noteworthy until late in the night one of our friends was having a little too much fun and had probably drank one too many beers, and started being very silly.
In Defense Of Edging
Laying down last week, alongside my fiancé, I was watching the charming Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg rom-com, Celeste and Jesse Forever. About midway through there's a static shot of four people sitting on a bench, three of which are characters we are familiar with. The one all the way to the left is smoking, speaks one line, is never really in focus, and obscures his face with his cigarette, and then, by doing a bump of cocaine.
Football Season Is Beginning
"Beginning this week, ESPN plans to utilize AI technology to produce text game recap stories of select sports events," I read, before squeezing the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes.
I have a headache. I forgot to take my seizure meds this morning because I was in a rush to leave the hotel