In Defense Of Edging
Laying down last week, alongside my fiancé, I was watching the charming Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg rom-com, Celeste and Jesse Forever. About midway through there's a static shot of four people sitting on a bench, three of which are characters we are familiar with. The one all the way to the left is smoking, speaks one line, is never really in focus, and obscures his face with his cigarette, and then, by doing a bump of cocaine.
"That's Chris Pine!" I exclaim to Jessie (the affianced, not the movie character) and I can't tell if she believes me or not. I'm not even one-hundred percent. This character never appears again in the film. The credits start to roll and I tell her to wait. As they're rolling I see a character named "Rory Shenandoah" played by "Kris Pino" and shriek. I then look up Chris Pine's filmography and there it is. I was so satisfied. Rashida Jones thinks she can sneak a Secret Chris Pine by me? Not happening. Aside from spending the evening with the person I love most in this world, that was far and away the best part of the day.
On September 19th, 2024, Adrian Wojnarowski retired from ESPN to become the general manager of his alma mater's basketball program. Known for his signature Woj-Bombs, he seemed to have all the news before anyo.... I'm so fucking bored even typing this. It's so fucking boring. There is this space in the universe, and we all know it exists, between the real and the supernatural. It's that moment when you know what's happening but your brain hasn't processed it yet. LeBron James tracking Andre Iguodala from behind, taking off, and right before it happens, before he blocks him, all the plasma inside your blood electrifies. A young Allen Iverson being drafted number 1 overall, the swell of the crowd, the cheers, your heart aflutter at his smile after everything he went through. That's the sauce.
Adrian Wojnarowski was by every account excellent at his job, but it's a job that shouldn't exist. Every year he knew which draft picks were headed where, staining the sauce, burning the onions to the side of the pan. To be paid to be a mouthpiece for ownership and to prevent watching and enjoying the youthful exuberance of the draft is a deep attack on what sports means to people. You'll often hear the phrase "that's why they play the games" when a scrappy underdog defeats an overwhelming favorite, and that's the rare colloquialism that is in fact true, but it leaves out most of the picture. That's why we watch these athletes and listen to this music and watch these movies. I could have read the entire script of Celeste and Jesse Forever and I would've missed my favorite part. I could read every box score of every game played for the next 5 years but I wouldn't be any closer to knowing more about the game of basketball or more about my feelings about the game of basketball.
There are other journalists who do these same jobs, jobs that Woj essentially created in the modern era and I implore you to leave them behind. Everything that happens will still happen, always and forever, and it's up to you to decide how that makes you feel.
-Michael Campana